iwrite

I write. Not because I'm good at it but because I enjoy doing it. Perhaps more than I do birding or bird photography. For one thing, I don't need any special equipment to pursue writing - a pen and paper will do just fine. And for another thing, I can do it anytime. Just like today when it has been raining since I woke up. Rainy weather precludes doing my outdoor hobbies. Yet here I am expressing my thoughts, my demeanor in a spontaneous way, even inspired, and not hampered, by the falling rain.


I write. Even as a young child I wrote. Over the years poems, anecdotes, stories, flowed out of my being. Some expressing despair, others of love, mostly emotional outpourings of what I felt at that particular chapter of my oftentimes uninteresting life.


I write. Because for me it is always a challenge.  Looking for wings that would take my imagination for a flight into the abode of befitting words that would perfectly convey my feelings, my mood, my contemplations. A summons to my creative abilities to come up with something worth reading. For why even write if it is not to be read?


I write. And I will continue to do so as long as my faculties will allow me. Now in my retirement years where there is an ample amount of time on my hands, I will keep on putting into prose or poetry what my heart whispers.

The Mission

Obet was scared to go out of the house that night. It was the eve of the “Araw ng mga Patay” – the Day of the Dead. Earlier that day he was listening to his Lolo, great raconteur that he is, as he told tales of horror and ghosts and things that go bump in the night. So when Nanay Gloria asked Obet to go on a certain mission for her, he took the order with some trepidation.

He stepped out in the cold night, eyes darting side to side, praying he will not see any of the creatures his Lolo frightfully portrayed in his stories. The street was unusually quiet, Obet observed. The usual group of kids playing patintero at this time of the evening were not there. The perpetually bibulous Mang Tomas was conspicuously absent from his spot near the corner of Lanzones and Atis.

As he approached the leafless madre kakaw, a freezing wind blew and the bare branches of the tree seemed to come alive and started reaching out to him. The wind moaned like the cries of anguished souls from the unfathomable depths of Sheol. The dark shadows from the clump of banana trees took on hideous forms beckoning at him. He wanted to turn back but the weight of this mission was heavy on his shoulders and he knew that there was nothing or no one that he might encounter in this journey would be worse than incurring the wrath of his Nanay. He had to complete this task no matter what.

The wind died down somewhat as he passed by the bamboo grove near the creek. It was then that he heard the creaking noise not unlike the opening of an ancient coffin that seemed to come from within the thickets. He thought he heard a snickering laughter but he rationalized it as only bamboo leaves rustling in the soft breeze that came blowing by. Suddenly a long and mournful ululation pierced the darkness and made Obet almost jump out of his skin. It’s that stupid mongrel of the Santiagos he explained to himself.

Breathing heavily and with leaden feet he crossed the rickety bridge. Just as he came at the northern end he glimpsed a small fire flickering by the edge of the creek. With disbelieving eyes he saw the flame move slowly. It was very close to but not touching the ground! His hair stood on its end. He wanted to run away from it but he kept telling himself that there must be a perfectly logical explanation for this apparition. Gathering up all his courage he picked up a stick lying nearby and inched slowly towards the source of his fear. As he came closer he could make out that it was actually a lighted candle that seems to be moving on its own volition. Fingering the crucifix that dangled from his necklace and offering a quick prayer he crept slowly and prodded the mobile incandescence with his stick. The candle tumbled to the ground and lit up the dried grass thereby illuminating the scene. It was then that he saw a befuddled tortoise scramble away from him as fast as it could. Apparently some practical joker stuck a flaming candle on the poor creature’s back and set it free near the bridge with the intent of scaring the wits off of an unwary passersby. Obet quickly doused the fire and emboldened by this discovery continued on his journey.

It wasn’t long before he saw a faint light in the distance.  That must be my destination, he assured himself. His footsteps echoed on the cobbled street as he half-ran towards the light. Obet was almost out of breath and sweating profusely despite the clammy air when he entered the nipa thatched structure with only three walls. In front of him were several jars and assorted bottles. The tiny gas lamp that hung from the low ceiling cast a harsh glow on a head with white unkempt hair. The head bobbed a little and then Obet saw an old face, wrinkled beyond belief. A pair of blood-shot eyes squinted unwaveringly at Obet. Dark red fluid slowly dribbled on the person’s chin as she stared at him expectantly.

Obet took a deep breath and in a quivering voice said:

“Aling Tekla, pagbilhan nga po ng suka. Pakilista na lang daw po sabi ni Nanay.”

I am Sick-ty Five!

It started in the afternoon of Oct. 22nd. Two days before I turned 65. An innocent affair with a Coffee Almond Ice Cream led into some turbulent moments that continued for almost two days. The revolt against my internal constitution and the nagging protests from my digestive system made me a participant in the occupy the bathroom movement. Repeatedly.


The whole day Sunday I was so weak and dehydrated that I had to miss church. Bereft of spiritual strength I felt even weaker. My wife, Cynthia, stayed by my side, doing everything to nurse me back to health.


Noontime and I wished I could have fully enjoyed lunch with Cynthia's family. It was just that I was still feeling weak and a tad queasy that no matter how delicious the food my wife prepared, I could only partake so little of it.


When the day of my birthday dawned I was still feeling a bit woozy. Thankfully my appointments with the john have returned to a more or less normal routine. 


Lunch at Tokyo Cafe at Megamall was still handled with extreme caution. After that I waited in silent meditation while Cynthia met with her co-ADB retirees to plan for an upcoming reunion.


As the day came to a close I reflected on what transpired the past days. No matter how much you prepare yourself for something that you expect to be a happy event, life will still throw a curve ball at you. But when you turn into a ripe old age such as 65, you realize that there will always be surprises, some pleasant and some not so. 


Without all the fanfare and the hoopla expected from celebrating a milestone birthday, I still feel blessed. And very happy from all the greetings that I have received via text messages, phone calls and Facebook postings.


Thanks everyone for your well wishes. Dear family and friends, I love you all!

Soul Rain

roaring rain

beating down on the heliconias..


i looked up at the gray skies

and saw

a little skinny boy

slumped in the corner

of his darkened room

shedding tears 

as copious as the rain

falling outside his window

feeling alone, cold

and unloved


i closed my eyes

bowed my head

sensing the cessation of the rain

and yet

my soul is still damp

from unshed tears

Korean TV Dramas - a guest blog from my wife

A Filipina’s impression of the Korean Drama

My husband, Bob, and I have grown fond of the Korean dramas because of the English subtitles.  Bob is hearing impaired so the subtitles really help whenever we watch TV.  In the States, we had close caption (CC) for our favorite shows like NCIS, CSI, Criminal Minds and Numbers but when we moved to the Philippines, we were disappointed when we found out that the cable companies did not offer CC.  Only Star World Movies, KBS and Arirang had English captions.

Over time, I have observed the most common components of Korean dramas and these are:

1. The son or daughter born out of an illicit affair, a one night stand or an ill-fated romance  that took place in the past.
2. Disparity between the rich and the poor, bridged by true love
3. A plot to deny the bastard son/daughter of his rightful inheritance or share in the family wealth.  Usually, the father is a chaebol or a millionaire.
4. The ubiquitous bottles of soju which the characters imbibe to take away, or forget, their problems.
5. Of course, when someone passes out (usually, but not always,) from too much wine, somebody has to piggyback  her (or him).
6. Koreans are not demonstrative about their affections so a touch or grip on the shoulders is very meaningful
7. There are always secrets, lying, denials and  eavesdropping but eventually, the truth comes out, maybe about two episodes before the ending.
8. People always meet or reflect by a body of water, could be a river, bay or lake.
9. “Fighting”  (pronounced  "hwaiting") is a favorite mantra for encouragement.
10. The family members confer over a large table  inside or outside the house usually sitting on the floor. 
11. The good person eventually gets out of his desperate situation because of his destiny so the evil person never triumphs over him. 

In addition,  I learned a lot about Korean way of life through their dramas:

1.   Respect for elders.  What the eldest in the household says, goes. It could be the grandfather/grandmother, father or eldest brother.
2.  The engagement of a couple looks as binding as the wedding itself.
3. When a couple returns from their honeymoon, they visit the bride’s home and stay there for the night.
4. The average household celebrates special occasions with pork or beef;  kimchi is a staple, just like rice. Most  have soup for breakfast.
5. They always take off their shoes at the entryway and wear slippers inside.
6. The daughter in law does the domestic chores in the household she married into.

Disclaimer:  This is by no means an expert opinion of Korean culture, merely a summary of observations from what is shown in the Korean dramas.

The Ennui Within

It's been a month since I last went birding. That was in Kota Kinabalu. Since then it had been a series of unfortunate setbacks that more or less confined me within the walls of our home. It's not that my wife and I haven't been going out. It was just that those outings were mainly to church on Sundays and to run various errands (grocery shopping, laundry, taking our car to the shop, etc. etc). Then there were days of constant rain parenthesized by hot, humid weather. As if these were not enough, the current economic problems in America caused the value of the dollar to dip making my already meager pension to shrink even more. Please note that generally speaking, birding isn't cheap here in the Philippines. Most birding places are at some distance from our home which means 1) consuming lots of gasoline (the price of which had gone up lately) 2) paying toll fees and 3) eating out.  With that scenario, our financial situation even got further dented by the costly repair on our vehicle - something we later realized could have been resolved in a much cheaper way. *Sigh* Lessons learned though. Going forward we will never have our car checked at the "casa" (the dealer) again.


Pardon the rant. I just needed to get those out of my chest.


Due to the above stated reasons, my birding activities had been put on hold or rather restricted to my hard drive. With no light at the end of the tunnel yet, it seems. Weather is still fickle and the dollar apparently continuing to plunge. Between my morning and evening prayers here I am trying to battle the onset of ennui thru the aid of my computer (thank God for the internet!). Passing the time watching some quotidian k-pop music videos in between my visits to Facebook and Google+. Or occasionally watching those English-subtitled Korean drama series. (Oh Lord, what has become of me?)


Things better start changing soon. 


Or I might change my name to Hu Em Hai.

When life throws a curve ball

The recent event that happened in our lives caught us by surprise. We realized we had been complacent and we paid dearly for that. We became anxious, scared, traumatized and wondered deep in our hearts if God was punishing us. 


So we prayed and read our Bible and came upon the story of Job. Here was a righteous man, blameless in the sight of God and yet he suffered such a great loss - his wealth, his children and his health. And yet he still said, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken, Blessed be the name of the Lord". Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God (Job 1:21b-22). He also declared, "Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" (Job 2:10b)


Those words gave us comfort and the following Sunday, we were further encouraged by the sermon of our Pastor as he exhorted us to stand strong in the midst of troubles. 


Looking back at what happened that early morning more than a week ago, we realized we had so much to be thankful for: we were not harmed, and not everything was taken from our home.


When life throws a curve ball...so what! so we missed one hit. But the game is not over yet. That curve ball didn't result in a strike out. Instead of moping and wanting to remain  on the bench, our Heavenly Coach wants us to go back to the field and keep on swinging. Knowing that this Heavenly Coach has never lost a game should give us the energy and the strength to continue playing the game of life.

ifast

Today is the last day of our church's (Victory Christian Fellowship) annual Prayer and Fasting week. I once again participated, as I have done so for the past several years. For me the cleansing of body, soul and spirit is a very appropriate way of starting the year. Denying myself with a certain amount of food allows my body to be rid of some toxins that can be harmful to my health. At the same time, confessing my sins to God cleanses my soul of things that separate me from Him. Finally, praying, not for myself nor for my needs, but for those of others, gives my spirit that unfettered sense of being closer to God and His people.


I do not fast out of compulsion, nor because almost everybody else in church is doing so, nor to appear more spiritual. I do not fast because I want God to expedite giving me things that I desire for myself.


I fast because that is something I wanted to do. To be one with the body of Christ in offering our prayers, seeking God's love and kindness to meet the needs of our families and friends, to raise up more workers in spreading the gospel, to bless our people and our nation, and to protect our brothers and sisters facing persecution.


ilove God and
icare for His creation and so
ipray and
ifast